Love at first sight. That's what some moms feel when they see their new babies. My mom said she felt an instant love for each of her children the moment the nurses handed one of us over. My mom is a great mom. She's the kind of woman who says at any family meal or holiday, "This is what makes me happiest: all my children together." My mom, and mothers like her, are Hallmark cards waiting to happen. Mothers like this probably wanted to be mothers since they were children, so in a way, motherhood is like a life-long dream come true.
When my baby was born, they held her up for me to see. My reaction was less than motherly. I mean, they hold up this bloody, blue (no oxygen to make her pink yet), writhing, slimy, dark being and say, "What do you think?" What do I think? It looks like I had an affair with Jabba the Hut! Not only did the baby (it was a baby, right?) not look like Tim or me, she (it was a she, right?) didn't look like anyone I knew!
To be completely honest--and I realize I'm loosing my chance at Mother of the Year for this, I was disappointed. In my pathetic defense, I was exhausted, hungry (I wasn't allowed to eat all day), sleepy, and drugged. On top of that, they were busy sewing me up (see? I left out some scary details as to not overly terrify MTBs). The kid was out and apparently healthy, and that's all I cared about. I could learn to love a baby Hut, couldn't I? The nurses took her away and cleaned her while I stared at Tim. I was shocked more than anything, and Tim looked surprised, too. We had a baby now, for crying out loud. A baby!
A minute later, they brought the baby to me. She was all cleaned up and in a soft blanket. She actually looked like a baby, and not only that, she was a pretty baby. As I joked with Tim later, "They can go ahead and keep the other baby that came out, and I'll keep this one." They quickly took her away again to be tested and observed for several hours in the nursery, due to some of the labor complications. She was gone. The room cleared, and Tim went to show the baby to my family on the way to the nursery.
I was alone in the room. It was only me & my thoughts ... and it didn't take long for one or the other to become troubled.
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