The Long Goodbye (Part 2): The Name Game

Finding a name for Baby Dowdel has taught me a few things about my husband and myself. First, it's accurate to say that we're both kind of slackers. We made no big t0-do about finding a name quickly, and we held on to the hope that somehow the name would fall from the sky. We decided early on (once we saw how bad we were at the naming thing) that Tim would come up with a name if we had a girl, and I would chose a name it we had a boy.

Of course, because two of the sonograms were so unclear about the sex of the baby, our plan didn't make much difference. We asked for suggestions on this blog, and we got some good ones (we did select one as a middle name, by the way). All I wanted was a name that wasn't overly trendy, difficult to spell, or clearly belonged to a stripper. Tim just wanted a name.

I began writing down names that I'd always admired, particularly from literature. Unfortunately, this meant most of the male names I came up with were, outside of Elizabethan England, a bit girly. To add to the dilemma, coming up with a meaningful name nowadays is almost pointless, since most people could care less what a name means; they're more interested in how it sounds. Bummer.

Now that we have a name (which Tim is guarding with his life), here are the modest pieces of advice I can offer for those of you faced with a similar task (even if you're naming a new pup):
1. Keep the name to yourself until it's in print. Someone will definitely hate the name enough to tell you so, so you might as well keep it a secret until the damage is permanent.
2. Avoid trendy names, or at least give the kid a semi-traditional middle name. This way when he applies for a job later, he won't have to have "Cosmo" on his application if he doesn't want to.
3. Ignore baby-naming books. Just pick words or names that you like or mean something to you. Staring at a list of names, at least for me, made things harder (too many good choices on the menu, you know?).

According to the last sonogram, we're having a girl. Yet, in the back of my mind, I've toyed with a boy's name as well. I'll tell you why, and then you can tell me I'm making too much of this:

The entire time I've been pregnant, people have freely told me what they believed the sex of the baby was. The interesting thing is, the people who have told me consistently, without hesitation, that I'm having a boy fall into a strange category. I guess I'd call them the Innocents.

For example, when no one was there to influence her answer, I asked my 3-year-old niece if she thought I was having a boy or girl. She instantly answered, "Boy," and continued playing with a toy. Weeks later, I asked a five-year-old at my church the same thing. He gave the same answer with the same factual tone that my niece did. The most spiritual women I know, my grandmother and mother, both contended from the beginning that I would have a boy.

The other day, I was studying at a local coffee shop. A man sitting next to me asked what I was studying. This began a twenty or thirty-minute conversation about everything from college to travel and religion. He was such a nice man and very open and earnest. He talked passionately about children and education, and at one point, with palatable regret, he told me he wished he hadn't let college tear apart his love for books (his major was English). From any other stranger, I would've written off his emotion as insincere, but his eyes were all truth. He was the most open person I've met in a while, and he had this sort of innocence about him. As I was leaving, he wished me well, and for no reason at all, he said, "I think you're having a boy," then bashfully added, "but it could be a girl."

I left with this thought: sure, it's possible I could have a boy. But, there is an alternative. The very first time my doctor heard the baby's heartbeat, he said, "That's a boy." Even after the second sonogram, where it seemed more likely that I would have a girl, when my doctor heard the heartbeat again, he said, "So we decided you were having a girl, huh?" He seemed unsure. Now I think this: Baby Dowdel will be special. Every baby is special, but Baby Dowdel will be puzzling, I guess. She may be a girl physically, but her heart may be different than what most people stereotype as feminine. Perhaps she will be very brave, a straight-shooter, or someone quick to defend the defenseless. Sure, she may be stubborn or even reckless, but she could also be a leader, the kind of person you want to believe in. If Baby Dowdel turns out to be male, well then, I guess he has the last laugh.

So, what name did we decide on? Here are the hints Tim will let me part with:
1. The baby's initials pay homage to one of Tim's loves: computers.
2. People always ask us, "Is the name found in the Bible?" The answer is yes, but beware of assumptions.
3. The name has been said by everyone in America, and more than once.

Bonus: I dropped a hint in today's blog entry.

Have I told anyone the name, though Tim has guarded it well? Yes. I was babysitting a girl recently who I've known since she was a baby. She is five now. She looked at me and said, "You have a baby in there?" and pointed to my belly. I said, "Yes." She asked if it was a boy or girl. I said, "Probably a girl." She asked what the baby's name was. She looked so honest and innocent, so I told her. She nodded, and that was that.