One of my favorite children's book series is Toot & Puddle by author Holly Hobbie. The series follows the adventures of two piggies who are best buds (I have a thing for pigs), but that's not important for today's lesson: the perils of proper pregnancy. See, I'm the kind of proper gal who thinks that all bodily functions should remain personal. Burping and the like I just don't do in front of others, even my husband. I never had the talent to burp my ABCs or pick my nose and fling snot five feet away like my brothers did (do? Is that a talent you can lose?). So, you can see how distressed I was when I realized that pregnancy means a great deal more of Toot & Puddle, and I don't mean the pigs.
Not only am I in the bathroom 8-10 times a day (too much pressure on the bladder, I think is the cause) makin' puddles, but well, the rest of the time I feel like I'm always ... always ... (can't ... squeeze ... out ... the word ...) ... always TOOTING. At first I would apologize whenever it happened and get all uncomfortable, but now, well, it happens so much I end up just shrugging my shoulders without excuse. Am I just letting myself go? Is the next stage a muu-muu and soap operas?
Who can say? So if any of you have been pregnant and you're thinking, "Ha! She doesn't know the half of what's coming to her down the road!", just keep that good stuff to yourself. Ignorance is bliss.
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