The Long Goodbye (Part 1)

Today I had a doctor's appointment. The nurse scheduled me for one next Friday as well, though we both know the baby may be here by then. This reminded me of something I've been mulling over the last two weeks.

I began this blog about 5 months ago at the suggestion of a friend. I agreed because I thought it was a reasonable way to let family and friends know how the pregnancy was going, if they cared to know (sending daily emails with the subject line, "Read this NOW! Precious baby info inside!" was Plan B).

What has surprised me most is that some people actually care enough to read this. Don't get me wrong, I know lots of good people, but still, I thought, "People have babies all the time. Why would anyone want to read about one baby's journey to the Outside?" I figured I'd print out the entire thing, and someday, when Baby Dowdel is old enough, tell her what becoming a mom was really like for me. That way, I don't gloss over the hard times or forget the good ones.

Now that I know that several people (yes, I do read all comments), even some outside of my family, have been gracious enough to listen to my raves and rants, I feel like I owe you all a decent farewell. This blog was dedicated to pregnancy, and that it shall be. But before I go, I'd like to say goodbye in three parts, beginning today. I will be as honest as I can, so today I offer "Part 1: What I've Learned."

Sure, at this point I could make a bulleted list, but let's make this more spicy, shall we? Take this short quiz, and we'll tally up the points at the end.

True or False?
1. Women are pregnant for 9 months, which equals 36 weeks.
2. Babies begin sleeping "through the night" (you know, 8 hours or so) around 2-3 months of age.
3. 80% of parents install car seats incorrectly.
4. One perk of the pregnancy period is that women do not have to purchase sanitary napkins anymore.
5. Because baby stores are specialized and have years of experience, they are the best places to find out what's safest to give to your baby.
6. Never microwave milk in a bottle.
7. Don't take bottles out of the grasp of babies who fall asleep with them.
8. You can tell by the way a woman carries her baby (if the belly is low or high) if she's having a boy or girl.
9. Prenatal care is critical for healthy children; that's why everyone has access to the best.
10. The last few weeks of pregnancy are filled with excitement for moms; watch them glow!

I could go on with all the things I've learned, but I digress. So, how do you think you did? Let's find out: NOT ALL OF THE FOLLOWING COMMENTS ARE ENDORSED BY THE PEDIATRIC COMMUNITY. THEY ARE MOSTLY THE RESULTS OF DIRECT OBSERVATION, WHICH AT TIMES, MAY HAVE BEEN SEVERELY HAMPERED DUE TO LACK OF SLEEP. ALL JUDGMENTS ARE FINAL.

1. False. Women are pregnant for 40 weeks, if not longer. The 9-month ruse is a way to convince women to make babies, similar to the way paying for a shirt that's $19.99 sounds better than one for $20.
2. False. Most babies won't sleep through the night (by my definition, 8 uninterrupted hours) until they're 6 months to a year old (or older!). At 2 months, babies may "sleep through the night," if you define a night as 5 hours long.
3. True, so suck it up and get professional help.
4. False. I could delve into the unsightly details, but why? I need other women to get pregnant under false pretenses like I did; it's only fair.
5. False. "B" isn't for baby, it's for "Business." That's what these companies are interested in, so remember that as you and your significant other tour nursery displays. If you want to shop safe, check with a consumer organization and other parents.
6. True. Though I've seen this done all the time, experts say it's a no-no. Microwaves cook unevenly, which means you can burn your kid with a hot spot you didn't know was there.
7. False. Not only is this a choking hazard, dentists hate the fact that milk or sugary juices sit in kids' mouths for hours. This creates a breeding ground for germs and cavities.
8. False. Nobody, and I mean nobody has shown me any accuracy with this or any other method. All women and babies are different, and you're lucky if your doctor gets the sex of the baby right!
9. False. This is kind of a downer, but I've noticed it throughout my pregnancy. Because of my husband's medical insurance, I've had access to great prenatal vitamins, monthly and now weekly prenatal visits, and childcare classes. Because of friends and family, we have new clothes and toys for the baby, gizmos to make parenting a little easier, and a great support system. Every now and then, though, I remember that a lot of women, most women in fact, don't have half of these things. Around the world and in America, women either don't get decent prenatal care at all or get whatever they can squeeze from their medical insurance companies. I feel the most pity for women who work hard (as well as their spouses) but still don't make enough to pay for healthcare (and make too much to receive it for free!). Prenatal care is such a basic need; you would think both Democrats and Republicans would've figured out a way to give it gratis to everyone years ago.
10. False. Remember, kids: every woman is different. I get the, "You must be so excited!" line all the time. The truth is, I'm numb. I'm probably excited, scared, nervous, impatient, happy--a lot of things. Because I am, I've gone to a numb sort of state, where I can't pick out any one feeling to focus on. I felt the exact same way the weeks leading up to my wedding. It was not until the honeymoon that I was able to feel peaceful, happy, or anything at all. To that point, I was just overwhelmed. Hard to explain, but it's the truth.

See you tomorrow for, "Part 2: The Name Game."