If you weren't at Babies R Us last Saturday, you missed your opportunity; that's when Tim & I registered for baby gear. I could list twenty things that made registering like pulling my eyelashes out, but here are five of the most egregious:
1. Why are there 2,000 kinds of nipples for bottles? It's like comparing eggs with eggs: some are brown, some are not; some are small, some are big; but, in the end, they all look like--no surprise--eggs. This is one of the first things on our registry, and after a few minutes Tim was already saying, "Just pick one! Any one!"
2. The list that the store hands you (the items it deems 'necessary' for your registry) looks like inventory for a battalion of babies. I understand they're trying to make a buck, but it did make me wonder how much of this stuff the baby actually needed. I mean, women have babies out in the bush, and I doubt they spend time choosing mobiles for cribs! So, I pulled out a list Consumer Reports created about what it considers necessary and cross-referenced our first list. Um, CR's list would be considered abusive, if not Spartan, to the Babies R Us crowd. I did my best to balance the two lists out, which is why I ended up thinking things like, "Sure, the baby needs a 3-piece furniture set in cherry, but diapers ... seem a bit much."
3. To the Baby Stores of America: don't lie to us. Registering is not a job for MTBs and FTBs. Stores should put a label on the scanner gun they give you: "Not for use by couples. Mom required." After shopping for basic baby items (only the first section on the list), Tim said, "We've already been here AN HOUR." I could tell his patience had run out after comparing diaper pails. Tim is one of the most patient people I know, but put him in a situation where his technical, design, photography, and computer skills are not required, and well, his discomfort level goes up while his patience level goes down. Don't get me wrong, I was irritated, too, mainly because I don't like feeling like a chimp. I took my mom the following day to help me with the list, and we got through twice as much in about the same time as Tim & I did on our own. Overall, I think it would work best if a couple picked out the large items together, and after that, brought in their moms on different days. But who needs that kind of sanity?
4. If you aren't 100% sure what the sex of your baby is, there is one upside: you will finally know the answer to the question psychologists have asked for years: "Why do girls and boys seem to gravitate towards gender-specific toys and colors?" Answer: because parents have no choice but to buy pink doily-embellished dresses that say "Daddy's Princess" or blue overalls, decked out in trucks, that say, "Thank Heaven for Little Boys." Snore! We found only a small section of clothes that weren't gender-specific, and of those, the color was almost always yellow (what's wrong with green, orange, and purple?). I'll have to hit up the online stores now, though they tend to be pricey.
5. I hope that someday Toyota or some consumer-conscious car company will get in the business of strollers. That way we can all get one or two types that you can put together any way you want like you would a car (color, features, sweet alloy wheels, ABS?) and not have to hassle with finding the one stroller (out of one million) that meets your specific needs. Think of the possibilities!
... Although ... it wouldn't be long before some ghetto stroller pulled up next to mine with hydraulics and a stereo system, huh?
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