Bratz

Make no mistake, I despise Bratz dolls. If you've never seen them, imagine mini-Paris Hilton dolls dressed like dancers from a hip-hop video. They're made for girls who will be reading Seventeen when they're nine. To parents I say, "If you buy Bratz, you deserve brats." This is part of a much bigger parenting issue.

In an article by Sarah Mahoney in Parents Magazine, a second-grade teacher relates this story: "I had a child yell at me in class, and I corrected him. I told him that shouting was not a polite way to speak to a teacher. That evening, his mother called and yelled at me too, saying how dare I give her child a lecture on what is and isn't polite."

Anyone who has ever been to Wal-Mart knows how bratty kids can be, but who's really to blame here? In a poll done in the same magazine, 66% of people say it's the parents' fault. This is the group I like to call the Realistics. A second group, the Oblivious (11%) think that kids are the same as they've always been. The last group is made up of 20% of people who say that kids are just brattier and it has nothing to do with the parents. This is the At-Fault group, because it's clearly their children that are causing all the problems.

So why all the tantrums, whining, and disrespect? There are several theories, but let me go ahead and break it down for you from my observations when I worked at a preschool program.

1. Parents, some from guilt (divorce, too much time at work, etc.) some from laziness, don't bother to tell their kids, "No." They hope that somehow a teacher with thirty other kids will be able to parent their child, though the child spends only 1/3 of his day at school, at most.
2. As Mahoney pointed out, "In fact, many parents act more like therapists than authority figures. 'So when their kid says, "Shut up," they immediately make an excuse--he's tired, he's hungry, he's dealing with the stressful transition from nursery school to home,' says Parents advisor William J. Doherty, Ph.D." Yeah, how 'bout the kid's just being a brat?
3. Parents are caught up in praising their children for everything, whether it merits praise or not. How else do you think some American Idol contestants develop the fantasy they can actually sing? What's wrong with letting a kid lose a boardgame, get cut from his soccer team, or replace his own toy after he's lost it? All that is part of Life! Will someone else buy me a new car if I wreck mine?
4. Finally, there's the BFF Syndrome. Moms especially are prone to wanting to be their childrens' best friends forever. All parents want their children to love them, but that means accepting the fact that sometimes their children won't like them. Kids can have a truck load of friends, but they only have one mom and one dad (mostly, anyway).

In conclusion, I should practice what I preach. So, if any of my family or friends spot my kid hanging from the rafters at a restaurant, feel free to call her/him and me on it. If I'm not present, Mom, feel free to delve out the discipline in my stead. On second thought, Mom's too grandmotherly to have the chutzpah to do it (though she didn't have that problem when I was a kid). I'll leave that to my brothers and brother-in-law, who all subscribe to the "I'm not taking that from someone two feet tall" philosophy.