Join the PPP (Parents Promoting Prevention)!

Before I get hate mail, please understand I'm not trying to mock other parents' safety precautions. OK, that's a lie, but at least understand that I don't want hate mail.


So, today I was scanning a child catalog that my sister gave me. Among the typical potty-training gear and stroller items, I found a section that made me guffaw: the safety & preventative measures category.

Honestly, they must make this section for a special (by that I mean paranoid) group of people: first-time parents, over-involved grandparents, fire marshall inspectors' families, and conspiracy-theory types. I understand that parents shouldn't give children knives and nails to play with. I also understand that covering electrical outlets, tying up dangling cords, and securing bulky furniture to a wall is a good idea, but do we really need kid house helmets? You think I'm kidding? Check out page 12!

Should I be amazed that civilization has managed to last for thousands of years without a single one of the safety devices I saw today? How have we lived so long without toddler UPF 50+ sun-blocking beachwear in coordinating colors? How?

Here's just a sampling of the items many catalogs claim are "must haves":

- Safety bumpers on tubs, tables, and fireplace mantles
- Automatic toy sanitizers
- Window guards
- Cord covers
- TV button guards (seals away the TV buttons so you can only use the remote)
- Toilet locks
- Cabinet, drawer, & door locks
- Stove knob guards & oven door locks
- Oven splatter guards
- Computer button guard
- Shopping cart germ guard

If that's not enough, you can go all the way, folks! Buy a "play yard," which basically amounts to a zoo pen for kids! Put 'em in lock down like they do at San Quentin, I say.

I think if most of us take an honest evaluation of the way we grew up, we can probably conclude that (1) accidents will happen, no matter what precautions our parents took, and (2) most of the accidents were learning experiences. So, as parents I say take safety precautions in moderation. Alternatively, go all the way with it and put junior in an extra-large hamster ball.