More Skoolin'

On an unrelated matter: today I heard someone on TV say (referring to gifts), "That was all I bought-TED her." English translation: "That was all I bought her." This is the second time this week I've heard someone butcher a verb or pronounce the latter part of a past-tense verb as if it were a second word! Someone call the grammar police (http://spogg.org/)! OK, I'm done now. I guess I'll have to talk-ED about this again later ...

So, Tim & I have only one more Childbirth class to attend. Our last class was a little disheartening. The instructor showed us a pain chart that basically ranged from -10 to 10. She told the mothers to decide how much pain we thought we could bear during delivery (without discussing it with our spouses). Our partners were also to decide how much pain they thought we could bear. If you could not bear any pain at all, you would choose -10. If you were neutral, and didn't know if you would need an epidural or not, you were a zero. If you think you could bear all pain without medicine at any point, you were a 10. I thought I was a 6 or 7. The first person the instructor called was Tim. Tim said, "She's a zero ... or -3."

I wanted to smack him. Out of the 8 couples in our class, exactly half wanted an epidural and rated themselves -5. The other half wanted to try a natural birth, though none of us claimed to be an 8 or above.

Our instructor handed all the men a handful of ice in a napkin. She told them to grip it, without rest, for a minute and a half. The wives were told to encourage them using the different methods we'd learned in class. Tim was great. He didn't complain, and he let me joke with him while we tried to pass the time. He made it look easy.

Then it was my turn. To my dismay, within 10 seconds I was saying, "Can't do it. Can't do it! I'm gonna drop it. Too cold! Too cold!!" I apologized to Tim for my pathetic endurance. I felt bad that I was going to let my "team" down.

But I held on! I groaned like I was in labor, but I held on. Soon my palm went numb, and it was much easier after that. See, kids? When Life is hard and you don't think you can hold on, just remember to find something that will numb the pain--wait, that didn't come out right ...