I finally had to do the walk of shame this week. I've been taking a language class at a local university for the past few weeks, and so far, it's been fun. The only thing is, on the first day of class I knew I'd have to do the walk of shame at some point. See, the desks in the classroom are the kind that have a small tabletop (enough for writing space) attached to a chair. I was hoping for long tables with movable chairs at each table, but no luck. When I sat down that first day, the table part of my desk was less than 1/4" from my belly. I told myself it was plenty of room, even though I had to readjust in my seat every 10 minutes to stay comfortable.
Worse, the students in my class fall into two categories: married older people with no kids yet, or single young people who are practically kids themselves. I stick out, literally.
On Tuesday, it finally happened. I had to squeeeeeze into my desk. I knew I would have to do that eventually, but we only had three more classes left, and I thought I had time--you know how it goes. I was so uncomfortable, but did I complain? Nope. I didn't want to call any attention to myself or look like I wanted special treatment. The baby kicked against the table like, "Hey, lady! It's tight in here as it is!" The price for my stupidity was that I got to squirm in my seat for a full hour. I couldn't breathe normally, let alone use the correct past tense Japanese verb for "to eat."
Worse, the students in my class fall into two categories: married older people with no kids yet, or single young people who are practically kids themselves. I stick out, literally.
On Tuesday, it finally happened. I had to squeeeeeze into my desk. I knew I would have to do that eventually, but we only had three more classes left, and I thought I had time--you know how it goes. I was so uncomfortable, but did I complain? Nope. I didn't want to call any attention to myself or look like I wanted special treatment. The baby kicked against the table like, "Hey, lady! It's tight in here as it is!" The price for my stupidity was that I got to squirm in my seat for a full hour. I couldn't breathe normally, let alone use the correct past tense Japanese verb for "to eat."
By the time our five-minute break finally came, I had reached my threshold. I immediately got up and asked to have the only free-standing chair in the classroom. I think the teacher and several of the students wondered why I hadn't asked for it before. Two of them moved a new chair and small table to my spot. Instant relief.
That night, I parked too close to a gas pump at the station. Normally, I'd just squeeze out of my door, but, yeah, after one attempt ... Then there was the bathroom stall incident ... Point is, what moms have been telling me must be true: by the time I come home from the hospital with a baby, all sense of shame and modesty will be gone. The events leading up to the pregnancy (outgrowing clothes, loss of body functions, and squeezing into formerly spacious areas) and the delivery itself (our parenting instructor reminded us it's not uncommon for women to defecate during labor--*cringe*) make it hard for one to hold her head up high, you know? Even though the doctors and nurses have seen it all before, it will be my first time. If only I could lie there exposed and unashamed as easily as the baby will as (s)he makes her/his way into the world!
Time to suck it up, folks.
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